- Don’t bring a date to your divorce.
- Don’t wear tight spandex to court.
- Take all the metal out of your face and head before you go to court.
- Cover up as much of your tattoos as possible.
- If you are on medication please take it before you come to court in the quantities suggested by the doctor.
- Please bathe before you come to court.
- Do not drink alcohol or ingest controlled substances (not prescribed by doctor) within at least 4 hours prior to coming to court.
- Do not dress as if you were going to a night club to pick someone else up.
Clients should not have someone call them during a prove up when they are before the judge when their ringtone is “baby don’t hurt me” and the phone is not silenced. Thankfully this wasn’t my client.
After the Judge rules that you are to turn over the children to your husband for unsupervised visitation that weekend, don’t say “No I’m not and you can’t make me.”
At a custody hearing in a parentage case, when asked if your relationship was short-term or long-term with the Respondent, do not reply “Short-term, I guess about fifteen minutes” with your new wife and new in-laws sitting in the front row. He thought it was very funny.
Wait until you’re safely in a car or other place where other parties can’t hear you before you start calling the other parties/attorneys profane names.
When asked to raise your right hand and be sworn in, do not raise just your middle finger and curse at the judge.